


Attacking Iwa-chan!

by Xev (Xevikan15)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, M/M, Please believe me, it’s funny okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:48:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21552544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xevikan15/pseuds/Xev
Summary: Matsukawa made a fake hurt expression and put a hand over his heart. “‘Okay, I came here to have a good time, and I’m feeling so attacked right now.’”Iwaizumi simply stared at Matsukawa blankly. Matsukawa stared back at Iwaizumi expectantly. Hanamaki had been listening to the conversation with Oikawa still faceplanted to the table.When Iwaizumi continued staring at Matsukawa, confusion clouding green eyes, Matsukawa and Hanamaki started laughing in utter disbelief. “‘I didn’t attack you.’ Why did you say that in English?”Both Matsukawa and Hanamaki instantly slapped a hand to their mouth and started shaking. Oikawa felt the table vibrate with their laughter and lifted his head.Oikawa found Iwaizumi blankly staring back and forth between Matsukawa and Hanamaki as they struggled to stop laughing and was immediately suspicious.What is about to happen to my peaceful life if I ask?
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro & Iwaizumi Hajime, Hanamaki Takahiro & Iwaizumi Hajime & Matsukawa Issei & Oikawa Tooru, Hanamaki Takahiro & Matsukawa Issei, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Matsukawa Issei & Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 62
Kudos: 107





	1. Iwa-chan, pop culture’s a thing

”Have you seen the new American ones they posted? Some of them are decent, but most of them aren’t good at all.”

”Yeah, but they’re trashy funny. Want to come over and help me with English?”

”Oh? You want me to serenade you?”

Matsukawa stopped and stared at Hanamaki in amusement. As soon as Matsukawa stopped, Hanamaki also paused and turned to look up at his bushy-browed boyfriend. The sassy pink-hair immediately put his hands on his hips and smirked.

”What, don’t think I could pull it off?”

”Nah, babe, you definitely could. Just say it slowly so even a sloth could understand.”

”Got it, babe~”

~~~~

”Hey, Makki.”

”Yes, Mattsun?”

”You said in English December is said as *December,* right?”

”Yep. The other months with similar spelling are *October* and *November.*"

“That’s all the months in this term then, including *September.*" Matsukawa stretched his arms while Hanamaki stared shamelessly. The black-haired man then turned around to face his boyfriend, smirking.

”Now, Tutor-san, how do you say memes in English?”

“You have to ask correctly, Student-san~”

Matsukawa’s smirk turned devilish, and he turned towards Hanamaki. He placed both hands on each of Hanamaki’s thighs and leaned in.

“Tutor-san, will you tell me how to say memes in English? Pretty please?~”

Hanamaki looked more amused than anything. The creampuff lover opened his mouth to reply-

CRASH!

Startled, Hanamaki stared at where Matsukawa had crashed to the ground. Matsukawa winced as he got up, and Hanamaki started laughing in disbelief.

“Student-kun, I can’t help you with that kind of reward. How about this?”

Hanamaki reaches out to help Matsukawa get up, and the latter has a light flush overtaking his face. At the beginning of a compromise, Matsukawa looker at Hanamaki hopefully.

“Why don’t you finish your homework, and I’ll finish mine, and then we’ll learn the cool English words together?”

Matsukawa smiled lazily and leaned in to peck Hanamaki on the cheek.

“Sounds good to me, darling~”

~~~~

Oikawa immediately flopped onto the lunch table with Iwaizumi following close behind. Hanamaki and Matsukawa stared in amusement at the lump of shiny brown hair that somehow still looked soft. Iwaizumi sighed at Oikawa’s antics and sat down next to the exhausted volleyball captain.

“What’s got our Prince Charming down today?” Hanamaki inquired. It was unusual for Oikawa to be this exhausted, even if it was exaggerated.

Iwaizumi started slowly rubbing Oikawa’s back and didn’t look away from the brunette as he answered.

“The teacher announced another project today, when this brat stayed up doing the previous one that was due today. He can’t handle the thought of actually doing homework ahead of schedule.”

Despite the jab, Oikawa had looked genuinely exhausted, and Hanamaki and Matsukawa chose not to comment on the fact that Iwaizumi was letting Oikawa sleep rather than eat his untouched lunch.

“What class? English?”

“Yeah.” It figured. Oikawa had English right before lunch. Hanamaki moved to sit next to Oikawa and started massaging so that Iwaizumi was free to eat with two hands. Matsukawa stayed where he was to talk to Iwaizumi and try to cheer the tired ace up.

“What’s this project about this time?”

“Apparently it’s a project where the students need to pick someone from a lower class and work together to make an English presentation on American culture. The thing is the entire presentation must be done in English, and both partners have to speak. Oikawa’s been instantly bombarded with people who want to work with him, because of Crappykawa’s foreign looks or something.” Iwaizumi looked even more tired as he finished explaining, a feat Matsukawa had thought impossible.

Matsukawa reached over the table to pat Iwaizumi on the back.

“You can do it, Seijoh’s ace! If you can deal with him your whole life, working with him on one presentation isn’t going to kill you.”

Iwaizumi eyed Matsukawa balefully. “Why did you automatically assume I was going to work with this workaholic?” He pointed over at Oikawa without taking his eyes off of the mischievous person in front of him.

“…Do you want to work with Hanamaki? Actually, do you want Hanamaki to work with Oikawa?”

Iwaizumi shook his head instantly. “Gods, no. Those two would probably come up with something so stupid to present and Oikawa would sell it with that fake charm of his.”

Matsukawa leaned back in his chair, looking amused. “Then, do you want me to work with Oikawa?”

Iwaizumi looked at Matsukawa contemplatively. “You would keep Oikawa focused… but you also would find a way to convince Oikawa to include something ridiculous and try to defend it. You’ll definitely try to embarrass Oikawa in front of the class.”

Matsukawa made a fake hurt expression and put a hand over his heart. “*Okay, I came here to have a good time, and I’m feeling so attacked right now.*”

Iwaizumi simply stared at Matsukawa blankly. Matsukawa stared back at Iwaizumi expectantly. Hanamaki had been listening to the conversation with Oikawa still faceplanted to the table.

When Iwaizumi continued staring at Matsukawa, confusion clouding green eyes, Matsukawa and Hanamaki started laughing in utter disbelief. “*I didn’t attack you.* Why did you say that in English?”

Both Matsukawa and Hanamaki instantly slapped a hand to their mouth and started shaking. Oikawa felt the table vibrate with their laughter and lifted his head.

Oikawa found Iwaizumi blankly staring back and forth between Matsukawa and Hanamaki as they struggled to stop laughing.

The look on Oikawa’s face was screaming, _what is about to happen to my peaceful life if I ask?_

“Iwa-chan, what did those two do?”

Iwaizumi tore his gaze from the two third years who were still trying to catch their breath to Oikawa, who was more awake.

“I said Matsukawa wouldn’t be a good project partner for you, and he said something about being attacked even though I didn’t attack him?” Iwaizumi was clearly confused, pleading eyes begging someone to explain the joke that he had apparently missed. Oikawa cracked the barest hint of an absolutely infectious grin (that the other three would deny loving) and rested his head on top of his hands.

“Iwa-chan, I’m disappointed you don’t know pop culture.”

“Wha- What does being attacked have to do with popular culture?!” Iwaizumi looked so genuinely baffled Oikawa actually felt a twinge of guilt, but that was quickly pushed to the side in favor of a chance to tease Iwaizumi. Naturally, Matsukawa and Hanamaki had no such shame or reservations.

“Hey, Iwa-chan~” Matsukawa began, smirking.

Hanamaki jumped in, also smirking. “Don’t you feel *so blessed. so moved. so grateful. cant believe this is my life. never going to take it for granted. always going to give back. thank you* around Oikawa?” Oikawa covered his mouth with his hand so Iwaizumi wouldn’t immediately hit him for laughing at the Seijoh ace’s misery and bafflement.

When Iwaizumi kept staring at Matsukawa and Hanamaki like they were aliens, Matsukawa continued.

“Iwaizumi, Oikawa’s secretly *never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down* right?” Hanamaki and Matsukawa struggled to keep a straight face when Iwaizumi still didn’t react. Iwaizumi’s brows furrowed as he tried to figure out why they were speaking in English all of a sudden.

Oikawa was shaking in his seat at this point, all thoughts of the dreaded project collaboration gone. Seijoh’s normally composed setter couldn’t hold in his laughter and started pounding the table with his fist in a last-ditch effort to try to quell his laughter.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki noticed their captain trying to maintain their composure, and immediately exchanged a look full of mischief. They were going to take advantage of this opportunity to absolutely destroy Oikawa and leave Iwaizumi as clueless as ever.

Hanamaki opened his mouth, and-

BRRRRING!

All four third years jumped in shock as everyone around them began to leave the cafeteria. Hanamaki blinked. They had managed to spend the entirety of lunch talking about memes and Oikawa’s whining.

Iwaizumi shook off his confusion and hauled Oikawa up. “Come on, crappy captain. We gotta go. Don’t you dare think this gets you out of eating a meal for the day.”

Oikawa had finally stopped laughing, but he was still wiping tears off his face. “Rude, Iwa-chan. I’m a wonderful captain.” Iwaizumi side-eyed Oikawa for not mentioning the second part of Iwaizumi’s scolding. Hanamaki and Matsukawa exchanged another look and shrugged. It was Iwaizumi’s job, and they wouldn’t be able to help all that much.

They’d deal with it later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh
> 
> this has been in the works for a while and
> 
> see you next chapter for even more fluff?


	2. The Mischievous Bet

Hanamaki and Matsukawa came to school the next day with twin smirks on their faces. They would take down Iwaizumi, and hopefully get Oikawa in the process. Now the only thing left to do was to make the bet.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa set their things in front of the doors of a classroom that happened to be halfway to either class. The two proceeded to sit down and face each other, neither paying attention to the wary glances they got from passing students.

All of the third-years, if not the whole school, knew the meme team’s reputation for doing strange things at any given moment. It didn’t really occur to the students to ever ask, or tell a teacher, because whatever the two did, the outcome was going to give the students quality entertainment. Besides, they could always find out on the duo’s radio.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa stared at each other.

“50 yen says Oikawa breaks first." Hanamaki looked extremely confident, Matsukawa mused. Well, if he was that certain...

"100 yen says I get Iwaizumi to break first." Matsukawa leaned back in his chair, satisfied. Hanamaki narrowed his eyes at the easy smile the other wore.

"I'm going to ignore the fact that you made a completely different bet, and you're on! I'll definitely get poor Oikawa to break!"

The Oikawa fangirls who just happened to walk by the duo's classroom were immediately frozen. What were those two weird friends of Oikawa-san planning now? Were they saying something about breaking their idol?!

Hanamaki got up and high-fived Matsukawa to seal their bet, and proceeded to stroll past the fearful Oikawa fangirls as if he hadn't just implied he would hurt Oikawa.

The bell rang just as Hanamaki disappeared into his own classroom, and the Oikawa fanclub was forced to wait until lunch to discuss anything.

~~

Matsukawa looked up when the cries of 'Oikawa-san!' grew too loud to ignore and saw the pompous prince that was his friend walk into the cafeteria. Iwaizumi just huffed and went back to his lunch. Matsukawa glanced at the surly ace and then went back to his food. If Iwaizumi was this affected by Oikawa's fangirls, something must have happened. Perhaps Matsukawa should have started encouraging Iwaizumi to go after Oikawa sooner rather than later.

Although he had agreed to the bet, Matsukawa knew Iwaizumi was extremely dense, as he hadn't even noticed Kindaichi's puppy crush on him. There was a slim chance subtlety would work, but Matsukawa immediately dismissed the half-formed idea. Subtlety had a zero percent chance of working. If even Hanamaki and Matsukawa's blatant teasing remarks flew over Iwaizumi's head, then he would have to be straightforward.

"Yaho~! Iwa-chan, your face will get stuck frowning forever!" Of course Oikawa's first reflex was to insult Iwaizumi. Matsukawa huffed a laugh. These two childhood friends didn't even realize how in love they were. They didn't act like any pair of childhood friends Matsukawa had ever met. While Iwaizumi and OIkawa started their usual bickering, Matsukawa met Hanamaki's gaze.

While they were both competing to get their respective person break, today was not the day. Matsukawa and Hanamaki exchanged another look, and then turned their heads towards Iwaizumi, who was dangerously close to getting up to find something to throw at Oikawa. And, as always, Oikawa had a perfectly innocent look on his face. These childhood friends were ridiculous sometimes, Matsukawa mused.

Well, time for that facade to be destroyed. For now, Matsukawa and Hanamaki had to live up to their names.

Matsukawa started, “Hey, Hanamaki, you know why you’re the one for me?”

Hanamaki smirked. “Because I’m so cute, you should kneel before me?”

Matsukawa snorted, and retorted quickly. “Naw, you aren’t that level yet, babe.”

Iwaizumi looked puzzled, as expected. Oikawa was unsuccessfully hiding his grin. Matsukawa and Hanamaki bantered back and forth with memes until Iwaizumi was lost enough to give up and slam his fist on the table. Iwaizumi ignored the looks he got for interrupting lunch.

“Okay, stop. I get you two are joking about something and apparently it’s ‘pop culture’-”

Iwaizumi scowled as the other three were instantly in various states of choking to death due to laughing too hard. Apparently, Iwaizumi didn’t understand how funny this was to them.

Oikawa wiped a tear from his eyes and somehow managed to sputter out “I-ha-Iwa-chan, did you really just put air quotes around pop culture?” before going into hysteria again.

Iwaizumi scowled harder. “Shut up, I don’t know what you guys are laughing about!”

It took a bit until they calmed down, and by then lunch was over. They all quickly agreed to meet at Oikawa’s house for a sleepover. 

~~~~

Hanamaki and Matsukawa found Iwaizumi and Oikawa impatiently waiting for them at the gate, as they had lingered after volleyball practice to discuss their game plan. As they approached, Iwaizumi and Oikawa appeared to be discussing what they were going to do afterwards. 

“Hey Oikawa, go home without me. I have something I gotta do for a teacher.” Oikawa quirked an eyebrow.

“My, Iwa-chan is actually doing something for someone else? How nice of- OW!” Iwaizumi stormed off in the direction of the classrooms, leaving Oikawa pouting and rubbing his head. Hanamaki and Matsukawa exchanged a glance, surprised. The two childhood friends usually walked home together.

“Hey, Makki, go check out what Iwa’s doing and see if you can bring up Oikawa. Say something like you want a rematch in arm-wrestling. I’ll go with Oikawa.” Hanamaki stared at Matsukawa.

“What do you mean, I actually want a rematch! Also, why are you going home with Oikawa? Don’t you live the farthest from him? Also, how are you going to win the bet when you’re with Oikawa?” Matsukawa shrugged, a small grin on his face. _Smug, bushy eyebrows face_ , Hanamaki thought bitterly. “Fine.”  
  


_I'll destroy Iwaizumi so well, my boyfriend will definitely believe my strength!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...as you may have figured out, this will update every day until it's done.
> 
> lmfao Iwa, Oiks, prepare for trouble and make it double!
> 
> ...later they'll get teamed up on
> 
> by later i mean a few days from now


	3. Iwa-chan's true feelings... or not?!

When Hanamaki found Iwaizumi again, he quickly hid from the other. Iwaizumi appeared to be pacing and on the phone with someone. Hanamaki crept closer while staying against the wall. It was a good thing he’d decided to bring his black beanie today, because Iwaizumi would have definitely noticed his pink hair.

The plan was that Hanamaki would stay behind to challenge Iwaizumi to an arm wrestle, although Matsukawa had doubts about his victory. Heck, it didn’t even sound like he thought Hanamaki had a _chance_ _._ Hanamaki pouted at the thought that his own boyfriend didn’t believe in him. And while Hanamaki was going to challenge Iwaizumi to an apparently _fruitless battle according to his beloved boyfriend_ , Matsukawa would tag along with Oikawa for a little help in math. Oh yeah, Hanamaki was very bitter about the lack of faith Matsukawa had in him. They would then subtly bring up the other and see how the pair of childhood friends would react.

Well, Hanamaki would prove his boyfriend wrong. Totally.

“No, I’m telling you, I don’t know how to! Yeah, I know you got your silver devil, but-“

Iwaizumi suddenly stopped and frowned harder. Hanamaki blinked at the description. A silver-haired devil? There weren’t _that_ many ways Iwaizumi knew someone, and he didn’t seem to be talking about anyone at this school. The only way he would know people from other schools well enough to get their phone number would be through volleyball. And if there was a silver-haired person playing volleyball that they’d know….

Hanamaki grinned, proud of himself. Of course, Iwaizumi and the person on the line were discussing none other than Sugawara Koushi, the angel hiding a sneaky side. When Suga wanted to, he could really mess with their strategy. If they were talking about Sugawara and how the other person ‘got’ him, then Hanamaki could only come to one conclusion.

Apparently, Iwaizumi had gotten Sawamura Daichi’s phone number at some point. Hanamaki quickly shook himself. This wasn’t the time to be proud of himself! He’d already missed part of Iwaizumi’s current rant!

“-I know I’ve known him longer, but that just makes it harder! Look, let’s drop it.” Iwaizumi sounded frustrated. Hanamaki raised an eyebrow. Could it be Iwaizumi was talking about Oikawa? Not only that, Iwaizumi was seeking advice on how to _ask_ Oikawa out?

Hanamaki could barely contain his grin. Who knew dense Iwaizumi of all people was aware he loved their captain? And that this gruff best friend wanted to _confess_?

However exciting this new development was, Hanamaki needed to confirm it directly. The sneaky pink-hair stuffed his beanie somewhere hidden in the classroom folder, and then backed up.

“Yo, Iwaizumi, you’re still here?” Iwaizumi turned around, surprised. Hanamaki had made sure to walk as casually as possible from a good distance away, as if he had been looking for Iwaizumi for a while.

“Hanamaki? What are you still doing at the school?” Oh crap. Hanamaki hadn’t thought about this part when Matsukawa and he were coming up with the plan. Hanamaki would just have to make something up.

“I was getting a textbook for dear Mattsun, of course! I happened to overhear a teacher saying that you were still here. Since we’re near a classroom, do you want to arm wrestle me?” Despite Matsukawa’s lack of confidence in him, Hanamaki was serious about beating the vice-captain. Even if he didn’t have Iwaizumi’s muscles, he would beat him today. Somehow.

“Oh?” Iwaizumi’s confused frown turned into a sharp grin. “I’ll take you on, but we’re going home after this, got it?”

“Ah, the mom appears again.” The reflexive comment had been blurted out without Hanamaki really registering it. The profiterole lover immediately ducked Iwaizumi’s fist. “Whoa, geez, sorry. Is Oikawa the only one who gets away with that?”

Iwaizumi scoffed from where he was moving the desks. “What do you mean? Crappykawa doesn’t get away with it.”

“Yeah, but you hit him with a volleyball or your head for everything anyway.” Hanamaki settled into one seat that was directly across from Iwaizumi. They put both their elbows on the desks and closed their hands together in what would normally be a handshake.

“So, how do we do this so it’s fair?” Hanamaki voiced the question, suddenly realizing there was no one around to referee.

Iwaizumi frowned. “Fair point. Do it in five seconds?”

Hanamaki scoffed. “Are you trying to go easy on me? I won’t let you! Three seconds!”

The pink hair stared at Iwaizumi defiantly. Iwa huffed in amusement. The other had a glint of fire in his eyes, and his smirk suggested he already believed he would win. Hanamaki scowled.

“If you want to be beaten that badly. 3!”

"2!”

“1!”

WHAM!

Hanamaki’s fist was instantly slammed against the table. Tears prickled the pink-hair’s eyes at the pain. Iwaizumi grinned, oblivious to his own strength.

“See? It was the same result again. How many times are you gonna try to beat the arm wrestling champion?” Iwaizumi looked extremely satisfied, and raised his fist in victory.

Hanamaki smiled weakly. He’d known this was going to happen, but he still tried. And because he’d struggled, his hand was now paying for it. There were little shocks of pain traveling from his hand, and he cradled it with his other.

“Yeah, you won alright. You don’t have to dig it in, I know okay? I’ll definitely beat you next time!” Hanamaki quickly hid his hurt hand from Iwaizumi’s eyes when the latter turned to him. Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes. He had definitely heard Hanamaki’s strained voice in the first words he had said.

“Oi, are you trying to hide something from me? Did I hurt you?” Iwaizumi leaned over the desks to stare at Hanamaki intensely, just daring the other to lie. Yeah, there was no way Hanamaki was getting out of this one.

“Haha, I knew you’d catch me. You just gave me a reminder to beat you next time, that’s all,” Hanamaki said, a small smile on his face. Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes and Hanamaki winced when he moved his hand. Yeah, he wouldn’t be able to fool Iwaizumi.

“Give me your hand.” There was no point in hiding it. Hanamaki put his hand out and avoided Iwaizumi’s disappointing frown. Iwaizumi gently held Hanamaki’s hand and looked at it carefully before tugging on his wrist. Surprised, Hanamaki couldn’t do anything but follow Iwaizumi. His hand was warm inside of the other’s. It was silent during the walk until Iwaizumi broke it. “Hanamaki.”

Hanamaki jerked in surprise and looked at Iwaizumi. The other rarely used full names with Mattsun and Hanamaki ever since Oikawa had given them the nicknames he adored so much.

Iwaizumi stopped walking. “Why didn’t you just tell me you were hurt?”

Hanamaki blinked. “Because I can take care of this at home? Besides, you don’t have to do this for me.”

Hanamaki reflexively winced when Iwaizumi’s grip on his wrist tightened, and relaxed when Iwaizumi noticed and squeezed his wrist lightly as a silent apology. “Why wouldn’t I want to do this for you? You’re one of my closest friends, even though you and Mattsun give me headaches with your stupid memes and pranks sometimes.”

Hanamaki’s traitorous heart definitely did not skip a beat, and he had to turn his head away to hide his flushed face. He bravely said, “Well that’s the only way we know how to express our adoration for our dearest captain and ace!”

Iwaizumi snorted. Hanamaki openly stared, but the other didn’t seem to notice his recurring flush. “That’s bull. I’ve seen you care for each of us. Matsukawa cares for all of us in his own way too.”

Hanamaki hid a small smile. _Iwaizumi really is the best teammate I could ask for._

“Wait, didn’t you have to get a textbook or something?”

_Oh crap._

~~~~~~~~

Matsukawa had caught up with Oikawa, and began walking side by side with him. Oikawa turned to the taller, a question on his lips.

“I’m here to be your knight in shining armor instead of Iwaizumi.” Matsukawa didn’t say anything else, apparently believing that was all the explanation needed.

“Mattsun, you know I don’t need you to walk me home, right?” Oikawa seemed amused, if anything. Matsukawa casually started walking close enough to comfortably hold Oikawa’s hand, but didn’t reach for it.

“So? I want to walk you home while Makki tries for a rematch against Iwaizumi. Soon as he heard Iwaizumi was staying, he almost immediately ran off to find your hubby.” Oikawa’s neck flushed a deep red at the last part.

“M-my what? Iwa-chan isn’t my hu-sband!” Oikawa’s voice cracked while trying to force the last word out, and his face turned a bright pink. Matsukawa casually glanced to the side to hide his smile. _I knew Oikawa liked him. Perfect chance to see what he actually thinks about his best friend._ “B-besides, he isn’t even my boYfriend either!”

_Again_ , Matsukawa noted. _Oikawa’s voice went high pitched again._

The mischievous man smirked. “Oh? You seem a bit too flushed trying to talk about your supposed best friend.”

Oikawa scoffed dramatically and flipped his hair as he turned away from Matsukawa. “Iwa-chan is just my _best_ friend, unlike you two.”

Matsukawa faked a hurt gasp at the harmless jab. “Ah, I have been wounded. How can I ever continue with my life knowing I am below Iwaizumi?” Matsukawa sunk to his knees and grabbed one of Oikawa’s hands in the middle of the road, seemingly not caring about the weird looks he received. If Matsukawa had been looking up at Oikawa’s face rather than closing his eyes for dramatic effect, he would have seen Oikawa slowly turn red all over.

“Please, carry on my legacy. I beg you, you are the only one worthy of our great ace.” Matsukawa pleaded that with a slightly whiny tone, similar to one Oikawa would use when trying to gain someone’s, most likely Iwaizumi’s, sympathy.

“W-well, I have only your words to carry on. What would you like me to convey to Iwa-chan?” Matsukawa smirked at Oikawa’s blush. The other believed the blush was for Iwaizumi, when in fact Oikawa had just noticed how big Matsukawa’s hands were wrapped around his own.

Matsukawa pretended to think for a moment, and unsiccessfully hid the devious smirk on his face. Oikawa looked apprehensive, as he should. This was Matsukawa, after all. “’Iwa-chan, this Oikawa-san loves you very~ much~”

Oikawa had no response. Matsukawa waited for a few seconds with no response. Just as he was about to ask if the setter was okay, Oikawa slowly started turning beet red for the millionth time since they had started walking home. _Well, I guess he loves Iwaizumi that much._

Without saying another word, Oikawa gripped one of Matsukawa’s hands and began practically dragging the other to his house. Matsukawa blinked in surprise, but let Oikawa lead, even though they both knew all four of the third years had been to each others’ houses often enough to know the way.

“What’s the rush?” It was a few minutes of speed walking before Oikawa answered.

“Well, we need to set up for the sleepover right?” Matsukawa raised his, admittedly very bushy, eyebrows. He knew Oikawa had something else to say, he just had to be patient.

Sure enough, Oikawa was only silent for a few more minutes before he blurted something out. “And, well, I also want you to help me confess to him! You got Hanamaki to be your boyfriend, so…”

Matsukawa was surprised. Oikawa was serious, as he hadn’t even used a nickname. The way Oikawa had spoken, it seemed like Oikawa had been struggling to confess his feelings for his dense best friend for quite a while. So he had realized his feelings weren’t normal to feel towards his best friend.

After they neared Oikawa’s house, Matsukawa spoke. “Well, how did you realize your feelings for Iwaizumi?”

Oikawa opened the door and made sure he and Matsukawa were inside before Oikawa answered. “Honestly? You and Makki.”

Matsukawa stopped where he was putting his shoes away. “Uh? How did we make you realize?”

Oikawa looked at Matsukawa with an intense gaze. “Don’t you realize? You and Makki are essentially childhood friends, just from middle school instead of pre kindergarten. You two are essentially no different from me and Iwa, but when everyone else told the four of us that kissing wasn’t normal for best friends, you just rolled with it instead of stopping like me and Iwa.”

Oikawa paused as he went to get the blankets and pillows while Matsukawa started spreading their homework out. They set up the fort before Matsukawa headed to the kitchen to cook dinner. Oikawa sat on a kitchen stool, head in his hands as he watched Matsukawa. “You two didn’t care what other people thought, and simply said that you two were whatever you wanted to be. If the term was ‘boyfriends,’ then you two were ‘boyfriends’, or whatever they wanted to label you.”

Matsukawa’s eyes widened. He put down the pan just in time to catch Oikawa’ s wistful gaze. “Iwa-chan doesn’t really care about labels either, because it’s all my fault. I don’t like not being popular. I don’t like not fitting in. I don’t think I could handle it if anyone said they hated me and meant it.” Oikawa buried his head in his arms and began shaking. “How horrible is that? You and Makki get all these homophobic comments and I’m supposed to be the great captain.”

Oikawa jerked, eyes wide, as a hand slammed down next to his elbow on the counter. The next thing he knew, he had been lifted onto someone’s lap. Still blinking in shock, a pair of arms wrapped around just below his own and a pair of hands cradled his. Oikawa slowly turned his head around to see Matsukawa’s unreadable expression. In this position, Matsukawa had forced Oikawa to lean against him, and used his height as an advantage. Matsukawa noted the flush beginning to rise on Oikawa’s slender neck, but deemed it more important to drive something in for the other.

“Oikawa.” Matsukawa rumbled Oikawa’s name to make sure the other was paying attention. Oikawa jumped, but nodded instead of speaking. _He probably doesn’t know what to think._ In reality, Oikawa was afraid his voice would squeak if he tried to talk.

“Listen to me. You are an amazing captain. We might not say it enough in fear of inflating your pride and having you parade it in our faces, but you are. Everyone looks up to Iwaizumi, as expected, but they all admire you too. You pulled this team together and you somehow manage to maximize our talents. You almost always know what to say to motivate us.”

Oikawa still didn’t say anything, but the tension in his shoulders eased.

Matsukawa huffed. “You also somehow took advantage of Kunimi’s laziness and Kyoutani’s violent urges, you freak captain.” Oikawa turned around, supposedly to say something along the lines of protesting the freak label but stopped. Matsukawa, unbeknownst to him, had a soft, fond smile for his captain on.

When Matsukawa refocused his gaze, Oikawa had hurriedly turned around again, skin painted a deep pink. “Don’t you dare think we don’t appreciate you, captain. Come on, let’s hurry before Iwaizumi and ‘Hiro get here.”

Matsukawa moved back towards the kitchen. While Oikawa didn’t move for a few minutes, he eventually got up and headed to the bathroom, presumably to fix his ruffled hair. Amused, Matsukawa called out after him, “None of us care if you look like a princess you know!”

“WHO SAYS I LOOK LIKE A PRINCESS?! I JUST DON’T NEED YOU THREE TAKING BLACKMAIL PICTURES BECAUSE MY HAIR WASN’T PERFECT!”

Yeah, Oikawa seemed to be alright now. Matsukawa’s (main) mission was complete. _I wonder how Hiro is doing with Iwaizumi.._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you couldn't tell already i live for polyamory okay
> 
> these four will get together
> 
> but first, two of them need to get their crap together already...


	4. Surprise Treats & Kinky Iwa-chans

Hanamaki and Iwaizumi had finally left the school after Hanamaki had stopped grumbling about the ‘unnecessary bandage’ Iwaizumi had insisted wrapping for him. Hanamaki made sure the fluttering feeling in his stomach didn’t show up on his face, because even oblivious Iwaizumi would question why he was blushing. _His hands feel nice, that’s all._

As they started passing a house Hanamaki knew as the halfway point to Oikawa’s and Iwaizumi’s house, he suddenly remembered that his original mission was to ask what Iwaizumi thought about Oikawa. _Well, crap._

Hanamaki hastily got an idea of how to get more time. He started tugging Iwaizumi in the other direction. Iwaizumi looked puzzled. “Hanamaki, you do remember the sleepover is at Oikawa’s, right?”

Hanamaki waved his other hand dismissively. “Does Oikawa have _the_ creampuffs? And _the_ hamburg steak? I don’t think so!”

Iwaizumi smiled, amused. “So we’re just detouring for you and your boyfriend?”

“Of course! Issei deserves the best, and I need a better reason to stop somewhere!" Hanamaki replied, well aware how selfish that sounded. Iwaizumi was normally super strict about treating yourself and being selfish, but today's practice _had_ been more productive…

Iwaizumi sighed, resigned. (Hanamaki didn’t hear the fondness for a certain pink-haired spiker in it.) “Fine, the convenience store has a bakery near it anyway. Let’s go.” Hanamaki cheered, throwing his hands up in the air. In his excitement, he grabbed Iwaizumi’s hand and starts pulling him in the direction of the bakery. Hanamaki never looked backwards to see Iwaizumi smiling softly at his excitement for his favorite food.

While this was a great diversion tactic, Hanamaki needed to actually talk to Iwaizumi about Oikawa. While he was still going to buy Issei’s favorite food and his beloved creampuffs, it wouldn’t hurt to buy other treats as well…

When they arrived at the bakery, Hanamaki bolted towards the creampuffs. It was just a coincidence that this particular store also had quality milk bread that Oikawa hadn’t tried yet, and that Hanamaki and Matsukawa had already taste-tested it. Just a coincidence.

Hanamaki challenged Iwaizumi to find Matsukawa’s favorite brand of hamburg steak, which was across the street in the convenience store, while Hanamaki got the pre-ordered milk-bread and fresh creampuffs ordered a week in advance.

Hanamaki went across the street to where Iwaizumi was staring at the agedashi tofu longingly, but ripped his eyes off in time to accept the packaged hamburg steak from the cashier. Hanamaki made sure Iwaizumi was out of the store and looking away before sneaking in.

He met up with Iwaizumi after a few minutes. Iwaizumi looked confused. “Hanamaki, where were you? Milk bread doesn’t take that long to buy, does it?”

“Hmm? No, but like Oikawa won’t accept just any milk bread, so.” Hanamaki made sure Iwaizumi could only see two bags on him. “Here, let me take Issei’s as well!”

“Um, okay.” They walked home in silence for a bit until Hanamaki broke it.

“So, has anything happened between you and Oikawa recently?”

Iwaizumi blinked. “No? Oikawa seems to be a bit fidgety because we’re all gonna leave soon, but he’s been like that to the whole team.”

Hanamaki sighed. Iwaizumi lived up to his name. _He was so dense._ “I meant, you know, like your crush on him.” No one ever said Hanamaki was subtle.

Iwaizumi choked on a breath. “My what on Crappykawa?!”

Hanamaki let him recover before continuing. “You know, you guys are childhood friends to lovers?”

Iwaizumi’s brows furrowed, deep in thought. “Like you and Matsukawa? I wanna kiss him and stuff?”

“Yeah. Like you might be desensitized to Oikawa’s flirting and his fangirls, but you still get jealous don’t you?”

“That’s because Oikawa wastes too much time flirting instead of volleyball.”

“You know Oikawa is dedicated to volleyball above everything else. Except maybe you. Scratch that, definitely you. You’re his sole exception.”

Iwaizumi unfroze and scoffed. “If he was more dedicated to me, maybe he’d listen to me when I tell him he’s practiced enough for the day.”

Hanamaki huffed. “I mean, he doesn’t want to worry you, but he also thinks his skills aren’t good enough. You can’t really help him other than dragging him out of the gym until he acknowledges he’s overexerting himself.” He stopped and turned to face Iwaizumi with a serious face.

“We’re talking about this pining you’ve been doing for Oikawa. It goes past caring as a best friend. The best friend part was you caring for Oikawa. Heck, it was you cradling Oikawa’s knee. The Oikawa-crush was you hitting Oikawa with a volleyball every single time he was flirting. It’s when the fangirls took too long to get away. Honestly, I’m not sure how he didn’t notice when you dragged him away from a _guy_ who was expressing his admiration of Oikawa.”

Iwaizumi had slowly started turning pink sometime during Hanamaki laying out the painfully obvious clues. The other couldn’t look Hanamaki in the eye.

“I think the team noticed, or well those who cared, when you kept staring at Oikawa with such pride whenever he was in his captain mode. For the love of Izanami, keep your kinks to yourself.” Iwaizumi skipped red and went straight to white. “Uh, Iwaizumi? Please tell me you’re gonna be fine for the walk home, because I can’t carry you, you know. You work out too much.”

Hanamaki waited for Iwaizumi to recover a bit of color before adding, “thanks for taking my boyfriend to the gym though.” They started walking again before Iwaizumi cautiously asked Hanamaki again.

“Why are you thanking me for taking your boyfriend to the gym? He went there of his own will, and we don’t really do the same workouts or really interact.” Hanamaki didn’t hesitate.

“Because Issei goes there to hang out in blessed silence with you, you hunk. Also, he’s ripped and can successfully slam me into a wall, so.” Iwaizumi choked and almost tripped over his feet, face burning. Hanamaki hummed contemplatively.

“Issei can also hold me there for however long he wants, too.” Iwaizumi appeared to lose color again.

“I- you didn’t need to let me know!” Iwaizumi finally managed to get that out after a few minutes of coughing. Hanamaki shrugged unrepentantly. It was true and he wasn’t about to take back what he said.

Hanamaki waited until Iwaizumi’s skin was its normal color to nudge Iwaizumi. The shorter received a deadpan stare and a raised eyebrow. Iwaizumi seemed to understand Hanamaki wanted to know about Oikawa.

Iwaizumi rubbed a hand over his spiky hair. “Oikawa’s a dumbass. He doesn’t know when to stop hurting his knee, he’s obsessed with beating Ushijima, he hates Kageyama for being a setter with better skills, and he incredibly spiteful. But...” Iwaizumi seemed to need to take a deep breath to prepare.

Hanamaki understood. He wished he could film this, but Iwaizumi would lose his nerve if he caught him. Maybe later, when they were all dead from exams...

“But, Oikawa’s also supportive of his teammates, encouraging, helpful in every single way, trusting, and most of all, so damn loyal to teammates and strangers alike.” Iwaizumi sighed again. While he might have struggled getting the words out, it seemed to relax him a great deal.

Hanamaki hid a small smile. Iwaizumi really loved Oikawa, even if his stubborn hedgehog friend wouldn’t admit it. Good for Oikawa, they would be a cute pair to witness. _It’s also been years of pining, so about time they realized._

Hanamaki tightened his grip on Iwaizumi’s (very strong) hand, and started tugging him ahead. “Come on, now that you sorted that out, let’s see what Issei and Oikawa have done!”

With that gesture, Hanamaki was sure Iwaizumi saw the four bags instead of the three the creampuff lover was supposed to have, but Hanamaki was already running and gave him no chance to answer. Hanamaki knew Iwaizumi wouldn’t give up a chance to beat Hanamaki at something else and so wouldn’t question the extra bag. Not yet, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is the sleepover! depending on how it goes, or what they decide to do, there might be another chapter instead of ending on 5 like I thought.


	5. Prep Time for Pranksters

Oikawa answered the door for Hanamaki and Iwaizumi when the bell rang. “Hi Iwa-chan, Makki-chan! Mattsun’s almost done cooking!” 

Hanamaki barged in and almost barreled Oikawa over. “Ah, sorry Oikawa! I need Issei hugs pronto! Boyfriend hugs are way better than just friend hugs!” 

Oikawa gasped in offense. “Makki, are you saying my hugs are worse than Mattsun’s?!”

Hanamaki said something back, buried in Matsukawa’s back. Oikawa frowned and pouted. Matsukawa sighed fondly and turned around to hug Hanamaki properly. As he did, he noticed Iwaizumi staring at Oikawa contemplatively, one hand on the doorknob and one twitching like it wanted to reach Oikawa’s hand, which was only a few feet away… 

That hand was instantly snatched back as its owner noticed Matsukawa looking knowingly at it. Iwaizumi immediately turned away and started putting down the bags Hanamaki had tossed as soon as they had entered. _So Hiro had a serious talk with Iwaizumi as well. We could speed up this childhood pining with a game…_

Matsukawa was startled out of his thoughts when Hanamaki pecked him on the lips. “Issei, we can worry about that later. I brought your favorite~” 

Matsukawa grinned lazily. “Thank you, darling~” 

Hanamaki gave his boyfriend a lingering kiss before unwrapping himself and snatching the two unopened bags away from Iwaizumi while the latter was making sure Oikawa had been fine during the walk home. 

“So protective, Iwa-chan! I was fine, Mattsun was with me the whole way!” Oikawa’s pout was admittedly adorable, but there was no way the other three would mention it for fear of Oikawa using it against them. They couldn’t let Oikawa get away with _everything_ … 

Hanamaki winced as his bandaged hand accidentally cuffed the counter, and all eyes were immediately on the creampuff lover. Oikawa and Matsukawa narrowed their eyes and immediately went over. Iwaizumi also headed over, but was a little hesitant in his steps. 

“Makki, what happened?” Hanamaki winced. That was the captain voice alright. Oikawa was mad, and he was about to rampage on whoever hurt his dear friend. Hanamaki couldn’t deny the feeling of warmth inside him at Oikawa’s immediate reaction. 

“Uh, it was during me and Iwaizumi’s arm wrestle today.” Matsukawa narrowed his eyes. He proceeded to wrap an arm around Hanamaki’s waist to secure him against his chest, and then gently gripped the injured hand’s wrist up for examination. Oikawa turned to Iwaizumi for an explanation, fierce eyes trained on his best friend. 

Iwaizumi looked a little guilty, but he stood straight and faced Oikawa and Matsukawa’s piercing gaze. Hanamaki had turned to bruy his face in Matsukawa’s neck. “Hanamaki challenged me to a match, and I think I slammed it against the desk too hard. Honestly, now that I look back, that desk was kind of old…” 

Iwaizumi stared pensively at the wall, frowning as he probably thought of how he could have prevented it. Hanamaki couldn’t allow that. He patted Matsukawa’s shoulder to get his boyfriend to release him, and then walked over to Iwaizumi. “It’s fine, you didn’t know. Besides, you took care of it right away.” 

Iwaizumi glared at Hanamaki, who instantly remembered what had happened after he had injured his hand. “I would have gotten to it faster if you had told me sooner! There’s no reason why you thought you should handle it by yourself!” 

Hanamaki gulped as Matsukawa started seething. He could faintly sense Oikawa also turning to face Hanamaki. A hand enveloped his injured one, and he was turned to look directly at his boyfriend. “Hiro. You did what?” 

“Oh, uh. I just had this thought that I could take care of my hand by myself? It is partially my fault I got injured, so…” Hanamaki practically squeaked out the words as he squeezed his eyes shut, knowing Matsukawa was protective. Hanamaki let out another tiny sound as he suddenly saw only black, and he felt cloth on his face. A pair of arms were wrapped around him, and his injured hand was carefully cradled in one of Matsukawa’s hands. Hanamaki didn’t know if he could ever get used to how openly affectionate and adoring Matsukawa was. _Oh, he was worried. My wonderful boyfriend._

Oikawa huffed. “Well, if the lovebirds are done with their sappy moment, I think it’s time to do our homework before we start this sleepover.” 

Iwaizumi smacked Oikawa in the head with a bare hand before moving to unload the groceries. “Don’t interrupt other people, Trashkawa!” Oikawa reluctantly started helping after another indignant ‘Iwa-chan! So mean!’ 

Matsukawa’s chest vibrated, and Hanamaki slowly realized Matsukawa was talking to him. “Hey, ‘Hiro, stay as long as you want, okay? We can talk later about our plan if you don’t feel up to it.” 

Hanamaki carefully pushed off of Matsukawa so that they were both standing straight again. “Nah, it’s fine. Let’s go help them set up tables and the fort, we can talk there.” 

Hanamaki squeaked as his uninjured hand was taken so he was spun around. Matsukawa pecked him on the lips before letting him go with a cheeky smile. Hanamaki couldn’t do anything but stand there, face slowly flushing red. “Glad you’re feeling better, ‘Hiro.” 

~~~~

“Alright, Iwaizumi and Oikawa are off getting supplies for our sleepover. I’ve hidden the treats in the blankets, so we can eat them later.” Hanamaki yawned and stretched, “Ahhh, Issei, I don’t know what I would do without your cooking.” 

Matsukawa smiled, amused. “You know it wasn’t just me, right?” 

Hanamaki pouted. “It’s unfair that Iwaizumi has the muscles, the smarts, and cooking skills!” 

Matsukawa ruffled Hanamaki’s soft hair. “Poor you, creampuff lover yet absolute failure in the kitchen.” 

Hanamaki shook Matsukawa’s hand off in retaliation, but didn’t object when Matsukawa pulled him into his lap as he sat down. Hanamaki sat sideways on Matsukawa’s lap, and leaned into his boyfriend as his hair was pet again. “Okay look, that title goes to Oikawa, okay. I don’t even want to imagine what he would be like without Iwaizumi.” 

Matsukawa hummed thoughtfully. “Do you think Iwaizumi learned cooking for Oikawa, or is he just a natural counter to him?” 

Hanamaki laughed. “Both, maybe? That’s funny. We’ll have to ask them later. Oh, let’s play truth or dare or something along those lines! We know what they feel about each other!” 

Matsukawa huffed. “We have to talk about what we each learned, you know.” 

Hanamaki deflated. “Oh, right.” Hanamaki made a tiny squeak as Matsukawa stole a kiss from his lips. “W-what was that for?” Matsukawa lifted a hand up to Hanamaki’s face, caressing a cheek with his thumb. 

“You’re cute when you’re pouting, that’s all.” Hanamaki blushed again, and turned his face away. Matsukawa simply smiled and pressed the other further into his lap. 

“So, do you want to go first or do I? Seems like Iwaizumi and Oikawa are having a hard time finding the sleepover supplies.” Hanamaki and Matsukawa both knew the supplies were in the last obvious place Iwaizumi and Oikawa would look for. They were the ones who put it away last sleepover, after all. Hanamaki grinned. 

"I'll go first! When I found Iwa, he was talking to Daichi, can you believe it?! And.." Hanamaki babbled about the arm wrestling match, and skipped most of the details about his injury. Hanamaki hesitated, but told Matsukawa about the way Iwaizumi had tenderly bandaged up his injury. "Iwa's a great friend, isn't he? Haha..." 

Hanamaki avoided his boyfriend's raised eyebrow, but Matsukawa allowed it, since he had a similar experience. When Hanamaki detailed the juicy gossip and sappy acknowledgement Iwaizumi had for his love, both matchmakers grinned. Matsukawa's recollection of his experience with Oikawa only served to convince the two that yes, these two pining idiots deserved each other. 

Hanamaki stretched his arms, and relaxed against Matsukawa. He then turned around to look up at his boyfriend. "This means they'll confess eventually... ooorr we could give them another push?" 

Hanamaki’s eyes were bright with excitement, and Matsukawa couldn’t help but kiss Hanamaki, full of affection for his cute, scheming boyfriend. Hanamaki made a surprised sound, and then let Matsukawa take the lead. "Yeah." 

Matsukawa slid his hands down to Hanamaki’s waist and gripped it, securing the other. Hanamaki, in turn wrapped his arms around Matsukawa’s neck. The taller rubbed circles into the skin exposed by Hanamaki’s shirt, and the pink-hair shuddered with how loving the gesture was. 

Just as they were about to deepen the kiss, there was a yelp and a muffled 'Mean Iwa-chan!' as Oikawa stumbled out of the kitchen. Iwaizumi followed him, muttering angrily with a beet red face. 

Matsukawa and Hanamaki simultaneously turned to Iwaizumi for an explanation. They both knew they didn't really want to decipher Oikawa's exaggerated stories. 

Iwaizumi sighed. Poor Iwaizumi, he was going to suffer even when Oikawa was his boyfriend. The pains of loving someone. Hanamaki and Matsukawa were grateful they were so similar in personality. 

"This idiot saw you two making out and decided to be a creep." 

Hanamaki and Matsukawa blinked, and then stared at each other. They turned back to Iwaizumi. In unison, they asked, "Did we hear that wrong? Oikawa's being a creep with us, his beloved friends?" 

Oikawa frantically waved his hands around, a red tinge growing around his neck. "No! You got it wrong! I figured since we hang out all the time and we have so much homework that you two don't really get alone time, so I wanted you to have a makeout in peace." 

Oikawa's flush grew the longer the other three stared at him. "Uh, Oikawa. That's.. a great reason but like. How long were you watching us?" Hanamaki worded his question carefully, feeling Matsukawa start to shake. 

"N-not that long...?" Oikawa stammered. He wrung his hands and went to escape before Iwaizumi hauled him back by the back of his shirt. 

"Oh no you don't, Crappykawa, you were staring at them for way longer than normal." Iwaizumi forced Oikawa to sit in a chair and then stood menacingly behind him to prevent escape. Oikawa gulped. 

Hanamaki kept a straight face for five more seconds before he broke. The creampuff lover suddenly turned and slumped into Matsukawa, who was also shaking. 

Oikawa looked at both of them cautiously. "Makki, Mattsun, you're not.. actually mad.. are you..?" Iwaizumi, from behind Oikawa, slapped a hand over his mouth. 

After a few tense seconds of Oikawa apprehensively looking back and forth from Matsukawa and Hanamaki, and then Iwaizumi, one of them let out a breath of a laugh, and then they were all goners. 

Hanamaki couldn't clearly see Oikawa's face when he looked up due to his tears, but he was sure the other had an amazing surprised face on. _I wish one of us had a camera, man, his face is priceless._

Matsukawa pulled Hanamaki back into his chest and buried his rumbling laughter into the other's neck. "Oh- damn, now Iwaizumi can- he can call you _Creeperkawa_ ha-" 

How Matsukawa managed to get that out amidst his stomach-aching laugh no one knew, but Oikawa's indignant protest was lost in the sudden wave of laughter that left the other three struggling to breathe for several minutes. 

Once they had all recovered, Matsukawa secured Hanamaki in his arms before looking at Oikawa. "How did you not know we were joking? I thought we were friends!" 

Iwaizumi, trying and failing to hide his bright smile behind a mischievous grin, had to jump in now. If the meme team were having so much fun teasing Oikawa, why shouldn't he? 

"Yeah, Crappykawa, seems like I know them better than I know you." 

Oikawa's jaw dropped. He stared at Iwaizumi in silence as Hanamaki air high-fived Iwaizumi. "I-" 

"Oh, you actually have a comeback for that?" Hanamaki took his turn to tease Oikawa now, and he was going to press his advantage. It was rare Iwaizumi joined them in teasing Oikawa to this extent. He would have normally told them to knock it off by now. 

"I-!" Oikawa was struggling to retaliate in time before one of the three verbally attacked. "I'm Iwa-chan's best friend! Of course I know Iwa-chan better than you two! How could you know them better than you know me?!" 

Hanamaki and Matsukawa were shaking with laughter again, and Iwaizumi wore a poorly concealed smirk. "'Hiro, you hear that? He almost went into his kingly mode!" 

"Issei, you're perfect! You caught that as well! Surely Iwaizumi also heard it, seeing as he and Oikawa know each other so~ well~" 

It seemed Iwaizumi chose to ignore the last part of Hanamaki's comment, as his neck flushed red, but he kept his eyes on Oikawa. "Okay, guys, knock it off. We're never going to actually get to the sleepover like this." 

Hanamaki climbed off of Matsukawa's lap and stood up, grinning mischievously.

He surveyed everyone in the room. Oikawa, who was pouting and probably denying that he had a 'kingly mode.' Whatever he said, it was very similar to Kageyama's king mode, although Oikawa tended to get hit pretty quickly. Iwaizumi tended to be able to anticipate that pompous tone and stop it right in its tracks. 

Iwaizumi was looking at Hanamaki, resigned to whatever he was going to announce. He was probably hoping to actually get work done. What a pity this hope he had every sleepover died. 

And Matsukawa. Matsukawa was staring at Hanamaki with a fond look that made his insides melt. Hanamaki cleared his throat. He couldn't afford to focus on that right now. 

"Alright, guys. I think the best test to see if we know each other well enough is truth and dare!" 

Iwaizumi's and Oikawa's faces immediately scrunched up in confusion. "Wait, why truth or dare? Why can't we do our homework first?" 

Ah, Iwaizumi. Hanamaki and Matsukawa could already hear the sweet, sweet resignation to whatever they had planned in his question already. 

"Wait, Makki, don't you mean truth _or_ dare?" 

Matsukawa lifted himself off the chair with an easygoing smirk. "Nope, Hiro said it correctly. After we get the futons and stuff, we're playing truth _and_ dare." 

The sight of Hanamaki's mischievous grin and Matsukawa's easygoing, satisfied smirk would haunt Iwaizumi and Oikawa in fear of what they had planned. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmfao mattsun and makki messed around too much and now i gotta write another chapter
> 
> and i honestly couldn't write a chapter fast enough with the pace i was going so
> 
> see you next chapter for more hilarity?


	6. Party Games: Meme Team Style!

Hanamaki and Matsukawa came back with the sleepover supplies, the latter whistling cheerfully under his breath. Oikawa and Iwaizumi were still frozen, trying to process the name of the game Hanamaki, and therefore Matsukawa, had proposed.

Oikawa snapped out of it first and went to help Hanamaki, while Iwaizumi shook his head and apparently decided to think about it later as he helped Matsukawa.

They spread themselves out on the futon so one person was on each side of the square shape they had made.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence as they grabbed snacks to eat, Iwaizumi put down his snack and folded his arms. At the sound, Hanamaki and Matsukawa looked up from their planning session, mouths full. Oikawa leaned against Iwaizumi's side, faint smile on his face.

"So?" Iwaizumi looked at Hanamaki and Matsukawa, waiting for them to finish eating. "How do we do this truth and dare game you proposed?"

Hanamaki swallowed before answering. "It's simple! Someone picks a person to do it to, and the person chooses to either do a truth or a dare first. Then, they do the other one! Makes it go by faster, and it's more fun!"

Matsukawa, after a few seconds, added, "This way the game can wrap up faster. We do actually need to finish that homework due tomorrow..."

By the look in Iwaizumi's hard eyes and the hand that covered Oikawa's mouth, they didn't believe that at all. This game was going to make them all end up going to bed much, much later than they should have.

"Okay, I'll go first!" Hanamaki hummed as he looked at Oikawa. He could already see the resigned sigh the brown-haired setter was going to let out as soon as Hanamaki announced any dare.

”Oh, wait, I have to grab something first.” With that said, Hanamaki dashed into the kitchen, barely managing to stop himself from crashing into the stove on his slippery socks, leaving two absolutely confused and one knowing look in his wake. He grabbed the four bags he had put down earlier before returning. Hanamaki put one bag in front of each of the three before sitting in Matsukawa’s lap and opening his own bag. 

Matsukawa opened his bag with a fond smile, clearly expecting the hamburg steak burger Hanamaki had gotten for him. He kissed Hanamaki softly, with a “thanks, darling~” before digging in.

Across from them, Iwaizumi and Oikawa looked surprised as they opened their bags to reveal agedashi tofu and milk bread respectively. Iwaizumi looked from Oikawa’s starry eyed look to his own bag before turning toward Hanamaki in disbelief.

”Hanamaki. How did you get these without me noticing? I knew about the steak and the milkbread, but these two as well?” Iwaizumi shook his head and sighed fondly. “Thank you, though.”

Hanamaki put a finger on his lips and winked. “A magician never reveals his secrets~”

Fifteen minutes went by in silence as they all munched on the treats Hanamaki had gotten, before Iwaizumi dumped their bags into the trash.

Matsukawa hummed and put his head on Hanamaki’s shoulder. “‘Hiro, we can start now.”

Hanamaki wiped his mouth with a hand before replying. “Oh, right. You ready, Oikawa?”

No one was fooled by Hanamaki’s innocent grin. Oikawa gulped, but nodded.

"Oikawa, is your hair naturally styled or do you have to use conditioner on it every morning?" Instead of sighing, like Hanamaki and Matsukawa had expected, the other's reaction was even better. Oikawa actually gasped in offense, Iwaizumi chuckling in the armchair.

"Makki! How could you even insinuate I don't wake up like this?!" Oikawa waved his hands over his body to emphasize the 'this,' and Matsukawa couldn't stop a snort from escaping.

"As sad as your pride is, you didn't honestly answer my question." Hanamaki needed to know, as the other's hair was always perfect and fluffy whenever Matsukawa and he saw it.

Oikawa paused for a few seconds before reluctantly mumbling an answer. Hanamaki positively lit up in glee. "What's that, Oikawa? I couldn't hear you!"

Oikawa sat down and buried his face in his hands as a muffled answer was yelled.

Iwaizumi was smiling viciously as he leaned over to nudge Oikawa forcefully. "Shittykawa, tell them clearly what you do in the morning."

Oikawa looked up at Iwaizumi with a pout on his face. "All of you are bullies! I have to condition my hair, okay?!"

Hanamaki and Matsukawa doubled over in laughter. "Oh Izanami, is that what you didn't want us to hear?! Ha!" They both laughed even harder when Oikawa curled into a tighter ball of a defeated human being.

Iwaizumi let them laugh for a few seconds before hauling Oikawa up by his arm and leading him to sit right next to Iwaizumi's side. If Oikawa immediately flushed and looked at Iwaizumi in surprise, the ace didn't acknowledge it.

"Come on, guys, what's the dare? Get it over, Crappykawa's gonna complain either way."

Hanamaki looked at Matsukawa, and his boyfriend met his mischievous gaze.

The grinning creampuff lover refocused his gaze on Oikawa, who gulped. "I dare Oikawa to go to school with no conditioner for the whole day."

As predicted, Oikawa's jaw dropped. "I- you can't do this to me!"

Matsukawa smirked, and held up a hand to stop Oikawa's protest. "You agreed to play this with us, Oikawa."

Iwaizumi grinned. "I'll make sure Trashkawa keeps his word." He, and the other two, chose to ignore the whine of 'Mean Iwa-chan!'

After Oikawa stopped pouting, it was his turn to issue a truth and a dare. Hanamaki could see that he was feeling vicious, but, well, they had to keep their word. That went for the pink hair as well.

Oikawa grinned. "Makki~ I dare you to run around outside with just your underwear on!"

It was Hanamaki's turn to gasp in offense. The people in the room _absolutely_ knew Makki hated the cold with a passion, as he could never quite get warm enough. His toes froze of their own will most days, even in summer. And, most importantly of all, winter was almost over, but that didn’t mean the cold weather was loosening its grip in Japan.

Hanamaki shot Oikawa a vicious glare, the latter grinning in triumph. Oikawa put his hands up in a mock gesture of peace, fake smile carefully prepared and turned full blast. “Oh come on, Makki, it’s almost the end of winter. You can bear it!”

“I most certainly can NOT!” Hanamaki nearly screeched the words, suddenly jumping to his feet and waving his arms around. Matsukawa winced in sympathy. “Even if winter is almost over, that fact isn’t worth a _damn_. It’s still _freezing_ outside, especially to me.”

Hanamaki jabbed a finger into his own chest to emphasize that part. “You are well aware I have to wear layers of coats and scarves to be comfortable and _you want me to go outside with just my underwear?!”_

Matsukawa pulled Hanamaki into his lap to comfort him, hugging him tightly. Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa, the _are you serious_ look blatant for anyone to see. The shorter gestured towards Hanamaki and shook his head. Matsukawa watched the exchange quietly, amused. _They clearly have their own way of holding a silent conversation, these hypocrites._

Oikawa finally sighed. “Fine, let’s test the weather first. And you can keep your pants and shirt. You still have to run a lap though.”

Hanamaki nodded, calmer than before. “Okay.”

Matsukawa, Iwaizumi, and Oikawa exchanged a silent glance to decide who was going to test the weather. Matsukawa wasn’t going to be released by his clingy boyfriend anytime soon, Hanamaki would definitely death stare anyone who suggested _he_ check the weather, Iwaizumi didn’t want to move, and Oikawa… Oikawa had no choice.

Oikawa pouted, muttering about ‘makki privileges’ and ‘poor cold creampuff’. Reluctantly, Oikawa checked the thermometer, then went outside.

Oikawa came back into the room with a relieved smile, and Matsukawa took that to mean Hanamaki should be able to complete the dare. His boyfriend was just going to have to bear with it.

“Makki, it shouldn’t be too cold! You can definitely handle it with just your underwear and a shirt!” Oikawa exclaimed, happy his dare would mostly be fulfilled.

Hanamaki sighed in resignation and started stripping off his pants, shoes, and socks. While he was wrestling with his sweater, his vision was blocked for just enough time to not notice Oikawa and Iwaizumi staring at the creampuff lover’s slender body from volleyball. While Matsukawa was also staring, he made sure to catch the other two’s enraptured expressions on his boyfriend. He quickly turned back and helped his boyfriend out of his sweater before they noticed his staring. _So they can’t help but stare at Makki, huh._

Hanamaki sighed, then directed a pout towards Oikawa. “We better be having swaghetti and memeballs tomorrow to make this up to me, you jerk.”

Iwaizumi slapped a hand to his face in exasperation, as Hanamaki had (unintentionally) ruined the soft scene he himself had made. Oikawa squawked and screamed, “NO MAKKI YOU’RE UNINVITED!”

However, Hanamaki had already disappeared through the open door. Since Matsukawa was already up (and hiding a grin), he closed the door and waited for his pink-hair memer-in-crime to come back.

The three of them didn’t really do anything as they waited, but Matsukawa noticed Oikawa and Iwaizumi practically cuddling each other as they talked about something Matsukawa couldn’t hear. It was fine, Hanamaki and he had planned to use the latter’s turn to get them together.

Hanamaki returned after ten minutes, announcing his presence with three quick knocks. As soon as Matsukawa opened the door, he was knocked over by the freezing monster that was Hanamaki with a barely audible ‘oof’. Hanamaki was covering Matsukawa’s view of Iwaizumi and Oikawa, so he frantically waved a hand to get one of them to close the door.

Iwaizumi must have closed the door, as Oikawa draped Hanamaki’s clothes on top of the pink-hair. Hanamaki refused to let go of Matsukawa, citing that “I’m too cold and Issei’s really warm.”

Iwaizumi shook Hanamaki free and helped him into his clothes while Matsukawa laid on the floor, breathless. The tallest of the four laughed. “It’s fine, you’re forgiven since you’re cute.” Hanamaki beamed and pecked Matsukawa on the lips before helping him up.

“Alright, it’s Issei’s turn now. Ready, Issei?” Hanamaki put out a hand as if he was the prince assisting his beloved. Matsukawa knew it was the other way around.

“Why of course, my dashing prince.” Oikawa groaned and whined about the sappiness, but he couldn’t hide his smile.

Matsukawa sat with Hanamaki next to him, looking at the other two. “Alright. Iwaizumi, remember to answer this honestly.” Matsukawa received a confused ‘of course’ from the other before continuing. “Who do you love in this room? Not friendship love, actual I-want-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-loving-you love.”

Iwaizumi and Oikawa were clearly startled to hear the question, staring at Matsukawa with a dumbfounded expression. They could clearly see Hanamaki had known about this beforehand, as he was just looking back at them intently. Slowly, a flush started travelling up Iwaizumi’s neck.

“W-why now all of a sudden?” Iwaizumi finally managed to get that out, probably desperate to know why they had asked in front of Oikawa.

It was Hanamaki’s turn now. “Because. You and your crush feel the same. We confirmed it today, and we’re tired of waiting for you guys to sort out your feelings instead of dancing around them.” It was Oikawa’s turn to blush beet red.

Before he could say anything though, Matsukawa jumped in. “We’ve talked to both of you about yhis, and you two are clearly aware of your feelings for each other. We want you guys to be happy together. Stop wasting time thinking the other doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. They do.”

Oikawa and Iwaizumi turned to each other nervously. “I-Iwa-chan...? You like me?”

Iwaizumi huffed. “Dumbass, I love you. Come here.” Iwaizumi and Oikawa moved closer and closer until they were in range to kiss, and then suddenly hesitated.

A pause, and then, “Guuuuys, what are you waiting for?! Kiss already!” Hanamaki. Of course it was Hanamaki. Matsukawa wasn’t surprised as he distracted his boyfriend with little pecks all over his face and neck.

The mischievous duo couldn’t see Iwaizumi and Oikawa, but they could hear them start to kiss each other. And, to their delight, the two were making out.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki not so subtly watched them make out for a bit before clearing their throats simultaneously. Iwaizumi and Oikawa nearly shot out of each others’ arms, that’s how lost they were to the sensation.

“As wonderful as this is, Issei’s still got a dare,” Hanamaki said, eyes glinting dangerously.

“It’s just to get Iwaizumi to keep Oikawa in his lap, that’s all.” Matsukawa decided to say that as quickly as possible, because they looked apprehensive at his boyfriend’s leer. Matsukawa had decided the two had enough torture for the day, though Hanamaki pouted at the lost chance to tease them.

Oikawa blushed before he carefully sat in in front of Iwaizumi, the latter’s hands around his waist. “This okay...?”

Iwaizumi buried his fond smile in Oikawa’s fluffy-looking hair. “Yeah.”

Matsukawa smiled, relaxed. Their goal was complete. “We can discuss anything else later.” Hanamaki nodded in agreement, also relaxed.

Knowing Iwaizumi, he'd ask something serious. For now, though, they could relax. Wait, but it also could be revenge... it was too late to do anything, though.

Matsukawa turned to Iwaizumi, a resigned smile on his face. "Well, Iwaizumi, your turn's going to be the last one. Ask your question." They all knew Iwaizumi was definitely going to get Hanamaki and Matsukawa, and even Oikawa, back for all of the meme pranks over the past few days. It was better to get it over with.

Iwaizumi took a deep breath. The other three were quiet as they waited for the final question. And then, "what's a meme?"

For a second, the other three in the room thought they heard wrong.

Hanamaki, Matsukawa, and Oikawa stared at Iwaizumi. He stared back, a bit apprehensive when they didn't immediately answer.

Finally, Oikawa carefully asked, "Iwa-chan, what did you just say?"

Iwaizumi answered, confused. "I asked what a meme was."

Hanamaki voiced his disbelief when Matsukawa and Oikawa just looked back and forth at each other, then Iwaizumi. "Wait, so we didn't hear wrong? You actually asked- for your final question- you legitimately asked what a meme was? That was your serious question?" When Iwaizumi hesitantly nodded, something broke in the other three.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki actually fell to the floor and started shaking. "T-that was your final question- oh Ama- terasu- really?" Hanamaki could barely get out the words before he was hiccuping with laughter. Matsukawa wasn't any better, just silently shaking with streams of tears falling from his eyes.

Iwaizumi flushed. "I actually want to know! You three never bothered explaining it to me!"

Oikawa wiped away tears from his eyes. "I-Iwa-chan, that's what the internet is for. D-on't you have a phone?" Iwaizumi stared at Oikawa blankly, as if, Matsukawa noted worriedly, Iwaizumi had _never considered_ looking it up.

"Oh." That was the only word Iwaizumi could force out, apparently. "W-well, I figured all three of you were here, so I thought I'd ask you now..."

Hanamaki let out a final breath of laughter before sitting up. "I mean, sure, we'll tell you truthfully. But like, we were expecting you to ask... how to say this.."

Matsukawa took the hint from his pink-haired boyfriend's imploring look and continued. "We were all expecting you to ask a life-or-death question, from the way you looked so serious."

Iwaizumi looked confused. "It was really important to me to ask you guys, yes. I still don't understand why it was so funny? It was a serious question."

Oikawa tried and failed to stop laughing, while Hanamaki and Matsukawa shared a huff of laughter. _Iwaizumi, the densest human being we've had the the pleasure of knowing._ They both looked at Oikawa to explain, since he could probably communicate it to Iwaizumi the best. Since they were boyfriends now. Man, Hanamaki and Matsukawa were giddy all over again at the thought that _their plan had worked_.

Oikawa started explaining in a soft tone. “Well, a meme is a funny image, video, piece of text, or something else that can be copied and spread pretty quickly by people who use the Internet a lot. It can be funny or ironic. Memes are supposed to simplify a concept or very relatable quote and apply it to almost anything.”

When Iwaizumi, Hanamaki, and Matsukawa just stared blankly at Oikawa, he briefly looked like he was considering murdering them.

Hanamaki knew the question he wanted so badly to ask would get him killed, so he looked at Matsukawa desperately.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa proceeded to have a fast, silent argument that mostly consisted of Matsukawa questioning why Hanamaki was so willing to let his boyfriend be the sacrifice while Hanamaki frantically reasoned that Matsukawa was more likely to get away with murder because he was an easygoing person and he was witty with his words. Matsukawa proceeded to gesture to the whole room to indicate that, _no, that wouldn’t work because the people in the room know him too well_ , and his pink-haired boyfriend who apparently had _no sense of mercy_ waved dismissively like that didn’t matter _at all_ and that Matsukawa should try anyway.

At that point, one unfortunate boyfriend of Hanamaki Takahiro wondered why he went along with his partner’s schemes. The things he did for his boyfriend. Oh well.

By the time Hanamaki and Matsukawa finished having their silent debate, Oikawa seemed to have been able to simplify his explanation so Iwaizumi was able to understand the basic concept of a ‘meme’. Ha, the two still couldn’t believe Iwaizumi had _asked_.

Hanamaki patted Matsukawa’s shoulder, grinning cheerfully as if he wasn’t sending his own boyfriend instead of himself to the gallows. Matsukawa could feel exactly how much he loved him. What an amazing boyfriend to have, really. It was nice to know Hanamaki had his back, and could definitely not see the problem with, oh, _sacrificing his own boyfriend for his schemes._ Really, he had the most amazing partner ever. Matsukawa had to go through with Hanamaki’s scheme now, it was too late to tell him otherwise.

The taller approached Oikawa with a serious expression, and took a deep breath. Oikawa quirked an eyebrow. Then, “Oikawa, name one meme you actually know that wasn’t from us.”

A few seconds of silence passed. The second squawk of offense was unleashed from Oikawa. Matsukawa definitely heard the sound of Hanamaki snickering as he managed to capture the priceless sound before Oikawa started to protest. “What do you mean?! Of course, I, the great Oikawa-san, know memes other than from you two! Both of you are walking memes yourself!” Oikawa continued to babble, enraged, as Matsukawa sighed and walked back to Hanamaki. He hadn’t been murdered for asking, what a relief. Matsukawa let out a surprised gasp as he was led to sit and lay his head on Hanamaki’s lap. The taller nearly fell asleep as the pink-hair started stroking his hair while he kept smirking at the still raging Oikawa.

“Good job, my wonderful boyfriend.” Hanamaki received a muffled reply back, and his smirk softened into a fond smile.

Iwaizumi watched his new boyfriend keep rambling on and on, and probably would have let him stay like that if Hanamaki hadn’t coughed to get his attention (and may or may not have thrown a sock at him too). Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow curiously.

“I know you think he’s cute, but I have the best idea to stop him, otherwise his dramatic highness would never stop,” Hanamaki hissed. Iwaizumi moved closer to listen, and then smirked.

The shorter made sure to casually sit against the closest wall, and then called out to his boyfriend. “Oikawa.”

At the sound of his name, Oikawa stopped talking and developed a pink blush. Hanamaki mused that the pretty boy was embarrassed he was caught rambling in front of his new boyfriend. What was he, an elementary kid with a huge crush?

This was the good part though. Hanamaki made sure to keep a casual smile as Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa and smiled innocently.

Oikawa looked curious. “What is it, Iwa-chan? Sorry to go on and on like that.”

Iwaizumi took a deep breath, and then: “Okay boomer.”

Hanamaki couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore. Matsukawa was shaking against him, having had gotten up to witness the fallout. Oikawa, for the third time that day, squawked in offense and then began flailing his limbs. “Iwa-chan, how dare you! I’m not that old! I’m the same age as you! I-“

And off Oikawa went on another rant, this time protesting the meme Iwaizumi had chosen to say. Hanamaki and Matsukawa slapped high fives before wiping their tears away. It had been worth it.

And Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi decided to shut Oikawa up with a quick peck to the lips, instantly making a blush spread across Oikawa’s face. “It’s okay, Oikawa, I liked it. It’s our turn to get back at those two idiots, now.”

Iwaizumi turned to Hanamaki and Matsukawa, grinning triumphantly. "Well, I figured it out now, thanks you two. I get what a meme is. So, Matsukawa, Hanamaki, are you prepared?"

The aforementioned two looked at each other hesitantly. Hanamaki nodded convincingly, even as his grip on Matsukawa's hand tightened. Iwaizumi could and would be very vicious in his retaliation if he felt they deserved it. There was an excellent reason he was the vice-captain, after all.

"I dare both of you to not say, mention, or do a single meme for the month." Satisfied, Iwaizumi leaned back in his chair with a smirk. Oikawa made an 'o' with his mouth and accidentally let the sound escape before covering his mouth and shaking with laughter.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa's eyes widened and their jaws dropped. How.. How could Iwaizumi do this to them?!

More importantly, how were they, the meme team, going to survive without _memes_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes it was meant to have a cliffhanger ending
> 
> hope you still laughed regardless!

**Author's Note:**

> hi! I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> This was meant to be a comedic/fluffy fic about the seijoh four!
> 
> I had lots of fun and laughs writing it, so I hope you were able to laugh too!


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